This ain't my first rodeo — but it's close!

Since the Clan has very limited experience with going to fairs, I can only imagine what it might be like if we got involved with showing animals or 4-H. At best, our dogs would have to put up with a lot more of this, although I've been told you don't usually show dogs for 4-H.
By : 
Lydia Hanson
Too Hick to be Square

Would it surprise you to learn that the Clan has rarely (if ever) been to a fair?

Because we’ve rarely (if ever) been to a fair. 

Blame it on 4-H, since despite living on a farm we’ve never done 4-H. But whatever the reason, the Clan does not frequent fairs during the summer. In fact, I’ve set foot on a fairgrounds a grand total of five times, all in the past two years, and half of that was because I was reporting on the fair.

Of course, armed with the vast experience this has given me, I think it might be entertaining to tell you what a Clanster thinks of fairs.

As far as I can tell, fairs have four parts: 4-H animals, carnival rides, deep-fried food and grandstand entertainment that involves smashing cars or people riding animals that don’t want to be ridden.

Never having done 4-H, that part puzzles me. I respect the people who spent hours prepping their animals for these events — the amount of cleaning alone is staggering! 

But you’ll have to excuse me if I fail to see the point of it. Training animals to walk around in circles is probably good for something, I just haven’t figured out what it is yet.

Of course, I also haven’t figured out why sporks exist, so I have lots to work on.

I’m also really not a fan of carnival rides. Maybe I’m a chicken, but I prefer to enjoy life from solid ground instead of being spun around in circles on a metal contraption.

I’m probably one of the exceptions in my family about this, though. I’m sure several of my siblings would jump at the opportunity to risk whiplash and vomiting just to be spun around really, really fast.

Given my limited fair-going experience, I’m also woefully uneducated about fair food. It’s been explained to me a few times now, but I’m still not 100 percent sure what a funnel cake is and why people rave about them. 

And since I don’t go to the fair just to give myself an epic stomachache, I’d just as soon steer clear of anything deep-fried or coated in grease and salt or caked in sugar.

In other words, 99 percent of all fair food is off my menu.

I feel a little more confident about my grasp of grandstand entertainment, however. At the Fillmore County Fair recently I attended my first rodeo, which was entertaining and educational in many ways — I thought bull-riding and bronc-busting was reserved for crazy people and old Westerns, but apparently not!

If at this point you’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t know how to appreciate and enjoy a fair, you’re probably right. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that, in many ways, I’m a very boring person, so that doesn’t bother me.

However, while I have yet to become a true fair fan, I will say this. At least now I can say “this ain’t my first rodeo” and really mean it.