A family business for the Clan? I think not.

The closest thing the Clan has to a “family business” is our annual gardening/canning endeavors. That gives us more than enough to do without having to worry about stuff like health code violations and child labor laws.
By : 
Lydia Hanson
Too Hick to be Square

One of the weird things that happen when you have 15 people in your family is that it’s sometimes assumed that we’ve got a family business hidden up our sleeves.

While canning and gardening is practically a business venture for us at this point (except for the part where it’s not making us any money), I think the Clan has always felt we had enough crazy going on just trying to get through our day-to-day lives. 

If we suddenly had to be entrepreneurs on top of everything else, I think the wheels would officially come right off the bus and go rolling over a cliff.

But just because we’ve never had a family business doesn’t mean we couldn’t if we wanted to. We’ve certainly had plenty of ideas for what we could do.

For instance, we could open a bed and breakfast.

Several someones would have to sleep out in the barn or camp out in tents to free up mattresses for more than one or two guests, but that part is manageable.

Of course, it would have to be the kind of B&B where guests don’t mind being woken up at 6:30 on the weekends when the younger siblings decide to get up super early and run around or at 10:30 in the evenings when the older kids decide it’s time to bounce balls off walls upstairs.

It would also be the kind of place where “room service” means Mom will squirt gun you with ice cold water if you don’t get up in the morning.

Failing the lodging side of things, I still think we have a chance at running an eating establishment, so we could open the Hansen House of Fine Dining and have a farm to dirty finger to table kind of venue.

Mom’s already known for her unique interpretation of food, so although our menu might consist of nothing but chef’s specials, I’m pretty sure there’s a market for that kind of thing somewhere. Given our years of experience with Mom’s menu, I think we’d have an advantage over the competition.

Unfortunately, the other thing our years of experience have taught us is that only assertive people get served, so good luck flagging down a waiter if you ever do visit the Hansen House of Fine Dining.

But hey! If those ideas don’t work out, we’ve still got an ace in the hole, thanks to our knack for giving uninspired guided tours. When giving guests a walkthrough of the house, we’re known for making insightful observations like “This is the laundry room” while gesturing to the washer, dryer and two gigantic baskets of clean laundry overflowing onto the floor.

Obvious Tours, people. That could be our next big thing.